(RNS) — My late mother always used to tell me: “Jeffrey, do not engage with crazy haters on Facebook.”
Actually, she never said that to me. My mother died about a decade before the advent of social media. But that is precisely what she would have said.
From time to time, suggestions to join Facebook groups pop up on my screen. Sometimes when the topics interest me, I jump in and jump on.
For example, one of my recent navigation geek indulgences is “Flight Everyday.” When I travel in an airplane, I always want to know where I am. I always want to know how pilots calculate their flight routes. It comes from a very old interest in geography.
The “Flight Everyday” group fascinated me because it shows the navigation routes of the longest flights in the world. I find this very cool.
There was the post about the flight from Tel Aviv to New York that quickly devolved into a discussion about Israel. The comments included refusals to call Israel by its name, saying it is “Palestine”; accusations the Zionists/Jews stole the land; denying there is a country called Israel; calling it Israe-hell; characterizing Israelis as Nazis; and proposals to deport Israelis to Poland or Miami.
It goes further: “There was never an Israel,” one comment reads. “There was only a patriarch named Israel [Jacob], and his children were a Bedouin tribe.”
“There is no such thing as the Jewish people. It is an invented identity.”
On a larger scale, go to any Facebook page that mentions Israel, a prominent Israeli actor, musician or television show, or where to find good coffee in Jaffa, and the hate oozes out of your device. Mention any prominent Jewish personality or media (“Seinfeld,” for example), and raw hatred emerges.
You can even go to any Facebook page about maps, history, archaeology or travel, and whatever the conversation is, the trolls twist it toward Israel.
Another page, “Amazing Maps,” had a map showing the countries that were part of the “coalition of the willing” during the Iraq War. It did not take long for commenters to start writing about the “insatiable Israeli thirst for blood.” That Israel was not part of the coalition was irrelevant.
Whether it’s Facebook, X, TikTok or Instagram, the hate is all over social media. Elon Musk’s X has long had an open-door policy for hatred. And now that Facebook no longer requires fact checking, the hatred is even more prominent. I call it the Facebook intifada.
Abraham Foxman, former director of the Anti-Defamation League, and Christopher Wolf, an internet privacy lawyer, wrote a book about it, “Viral Hate: Containing Its Spread on the Internet.” It’s not just about the Jews and Israel, of course. You are always one click away from onscreen encounters with racism, misogyny and homophobia. It is a cesspool. The ADL has complained to Facebook about it.
Despite my better judgment, this time I responded to the hate. This is what I wrote on “Flight Everyday”:
It is deplorable how an innocent posting about navigation has become an excuse for raw hatred. I am an American Jew who frequently visits Israel. When I am there, I engage in deep study of the Israel-Palestinian conflict. I learn from Israeli Jews and Palestinians. In the United States, I regularly engage in public dialogue with a prominent Muslim imam, and we model what a Jewish-Muslim conversation could look like. I embrace the complexities and the nuances and the difficult, painful history that we share. If only others on this site would do the same and refrain from simply re-hashing hatred. It has not been effective thus far. I don’t think that this is what Allah/God would want.
Why did I do it? Because a large piece of me cannot allow such hatred to go unanswered. Because a piece of me is still, and always, a teacher — even to those who cannot hear and cannot learn.
Did anyone respond to me?
Well, yes. Let’s talk about how Jews, or at least those with Jewish- and Israeli-sounding names, showed up for this conversation. Many of them simply “liked” what I said. I collected a few hundred “thumbs up” signs.
But what is sad is that almost none of them wrote, “Thank you for engaging in this issue.” Almost none of them engaged in any helpful way.
And when many did engage the issue, they were unhelpful. Some went into their own tirades, denying there is such a thing as a Palestinian people. That’s unhelpful and wrong.
Let’s go back to the Israel haters. When I posted that sincere plea for understanding, they met my plea with taunts. They laughed at my openness and pleas for nuance.
They will have none of it. To them, it is a sign of weakness. They double down. And, to be sure, Israel hate quickly metastasizes into antisemitism.
This is what I have concluded. First, the cruel cliche is correct: You cannot fix stupid. We in the Jewish organizational ecosystem want to believe that education is the answer. “If only they understood us better … ”
While sometimes education can help, the heart must be as open as the head.
Sometimes, relationships can heal hatred. You can hate a particular group or ideology, and then you get to know someone and develop a friendship. That demonization can evaporate. But, again, the heart must be ready and willing.
Second, many forget about nuance. We are living in polarized times. No one wants to admit their ideological enemy might, in fact, have a point.
Third, it is getting harder to engage with people who are radically unlike you. I have many friends who no longer listen to the news and will no longer discuss things with people with whom they have radically different worldviews.
I get it. I am also circling my wagons.
And I am writing 100 times: I will not talk to people in Facebook groups.
